Local Love

“There will be a price adjustment on that for you.”

“Why?” I asked, not completely understanding.

“Because it wasn’t exactly as I thought it should be,” the local proprietor replied. 

“Oh don’t worry,” I said, very pleased with how everything had turned out. 

“Absolutely not!” he stated emphatically. “It’s on us.”

The non-profit organization I co-founded, Good Shepherd SLF which is building a high school in Cameroon, West Africa, had rented space for a board meeting in town. There were some minor glitches in the beginning that were no big deal to me or to the board. Nonetheless, it was a very big deal to the owner. As a result, he gladly and without hesitation, gave us the space rent free.

t-t10_milford_music_festival_5820_mobiAfter our meeting, I happened to walk into another local business in search of some ingredients to make a special dinner for my husband that night. The establishment had everything I needed except one item. I guess the owner could see the tiredness in my eyes, the slump in my walk in high heels after a long meeting and he said, “Wait a minute. I might have just what you need in the back for the dishes we make here.”

Then he went into the kitchen, returning with more than I could use in a small plastic bag. No charge. 

That’s what doing business in a small town is like, not that people give everything away for free, nor should they! But they care. They go the extra mile to satisfy, to please, to say, “We’re part of the same community. You’re my neighbor and I want to help.”

And you can’t put a price on that. It truly is priceless, as MasterCard would say. 

I know. I grew up in a small town in Tennessee and my father was a local business owner. He, too, went the extra mile for everyone who walked in the door of his men’s clothing store – hand delivering the suit for that special occasion if time was short, staying open late for the person who needed it, supplying everything needed for the Boy Scouts at a discount, as well as for the local high school bands. 

He worked every Saturday and yes – he had a staff of salespeople, but he wanted, felt he should be there. He came home late and bone tired every Christmas Eve and when he finally arrived home there was a family celebration.

But when hard times hit with high interest rates in the 70s hurting small businesses across America, not all, but some of those people he had gone the extra mile to help  forgot about him, turned their back on him. And it hurt. Not just my father, but our entire family.

I pray I never do that to anyone and I pray you don’t either. Local merchants who give to us, deserve to receive from us as well.  Christmas shopping will be here before we know it and birthdays occur often. Let’s take care of the people who have taken care of us all year long.

Let’s remember. Each and every one of them deserves it.

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The Gift of Time

passengers“Your flight into Newark has been delayed four hours. Air Traffic Control issues. Too many planes and not enough space.”

What? Too many planes? Do the controllers not know how to count or is this a new version of too many passengers, not enough seats?

I’m not sure, but I am sure this is when the grumbling started. From the moaning, groaning, raised voices, and yes, cursing around me you would have thought this was the worst fate to befall each and every person now sitting in the waiting area.

“Are you sure?”

“Check with them again!”

“This is ridiculous!” came one cry after another.

When a situation is out of our control, like this one, why waste one ounce of energy getting in a stew about it? We cannot change the reality, but we can change our response to it. Over the years, I’ve developed a strategy for such situations.

#1. Pray. How often are we so rushed that we don’t take time to just sit in the presence of God? I’m not suggesting getting on our knees and making a scene, or even bowing our head. Just sitting and being, putting ourselves in God’s presence in a listening mode is all that’s needed. One of my Spiritual Directors often said, “Prayer is showing up, Elizabeth! Just show up! That’s all you have to do. You don’t have to say a thing. God will do the rest.”

#2. Work on those things you’ve been putting off that can be done via phone or online. For instance, I delayed ordering a new battery for my computer, in spite of the fact that the current one was getting hot and red lights were flashing. I know, not a good move. I realized I now had several hours to be put on hold, to end up talking to the wrong person, to figure out where the serial number was, etc. Now was the time. Do it! What a gift this delay was turning out to be!

#3. Make lists. If boredom begins to set in, make lists! Life will be much easier when we get home and are too busy to think clearly.

#4. Read. Finding a stimulating, thought-provoking book is almost up there with #1, “pray”. Buy one in a bookstore. Download one. We’ve been given a few precious hours of time. Let’s get caught up on our reading.

#5. Phone that old friend we haven’t talked to in a long time. This is balm for the weary soul and fuel for our engines. Catch up, reminisce, and make a vow to be in touch soon. Flight delays are almost inevitable these days. So the next time you’re lucky enough to fly, reach out again.

So to sum up: Pray, work, make, read, phone and

#6. Pat yourself on the back. Out of all the choices you could have made, you’ve decided to give yourself the gift of time. Give thanks, which takes us back to #1. Prayer. The beginning and the ending. The Alpha and the Omega. All we really need, regardless of where the plane does or does not take us.

And oh, I almost forgot!

#7. Write your overdue newspaper column. Your editor will be glad you did!

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Every Step of the Way

every stepThis is the most sacred week of the year for Jews and Christians. It is the week of Passover for Jews and Holy Week for Christians – a week when Jews decide if they will walk with Moses and other leaders from slavery in Egypt to freedom, and when Christians decide if they will walk with Jesus on his way to the cross and resurrection.

Both faith traditions bring the past into the present this week with the retelling of ancient stories that have fundamentally shaped who they are as a people. In the liturgical retelling, there is also a reliving of the most painful and glorious moments of these two traditions of the Abrahamic faith.

Passover is celebrated this year April 10th-18th when Jews gather for a Seder meal to remember their ancestors’ slavery in Egypt and walk to freedom. Holy Week is April 9th-15th when Christians remember the last week of Jesus’ life on earth through a series of poignant services.

Some will choose to actually relive those moments, to be there with their ancestors, not just reciting the words and going through the motions, and some will not. We can attend a Seder or a full week of Holy Week services and not allow it to touch us spiritually or emotionally, not allow it to impact our present day life, but why do that? Why miss the richness of that which, whether acknowledged or not, is part of our DNA, our flesh and blood?

Because it’s not easy, that’s why. There is nothing easy about it. Have you ever gone through the darkest hour of your life and noticed who is there with you and who isn’t? It’s too painful for some people, I believe, to experience deep and searing pain with someone else. Yet, that is what Passover and Holy Week ask of Jews and of Christians.

Imagine the abject degradation and pain of being a slave. Most of us would rather not. Imagine the searing pain of death by crucifixion or of seeing your loved one die in that manner. Most of us would rather not.

I pray that this year, Jews and Christians will not be afraid to let ourselves feel the feelings felt by our ancestors in the most trying times of their lives. Why? Because it puts us in touch with the many people throughout our world who experience such pain on a daily basis, such as the 20 million people enslaved today through the $15 billion dollar a year business of human trafficking, modern-day slavery. Or the men, women and children who died a horrific death last week by sarin gas poisoning in Syria, and their loved ones who had no choice but to watch them die.

Depending on your tradition, walk with the ancient Israelites this week; walk with Jesus this week, every step of the way. Walk not as a spectator who safely stays at a distance, but as one who is willing to feel, to experience some of what our ancestors felt who literally saved us.

Will you join me?

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#GagaGodJustice

“One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

GagaSo began Lady Gaga’s dazzling half-time Super Bowl performance. And so ends the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States of America.

Not coincidentally, this phrase lies at the heart of the debate raging within our country today. One nation? Absolutely, but one nation with very divided views on almost everything from politics, to religion, to economics, to what it means to be a just nation.

Under God? Most Americans would agree on that. But it seems that many have forgotten that Jews, Christians, and Muslims all worship the same God. Some call our Divine Creator ‘G-d’, others ‘God’, and still others ‘Allah’, but it is the same Creator we all worship. We are all descendants of Abraham. We are all sisters and brothers born of the same blood, sweat, and tears for “the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now” (Romans 8:22 NRSV). A pain we all share. A pain that should unite us. But a pain we all too easily forget.

Indivisible? Our country was almost permanently divided once, and there are some who believe we’re experiencing the Second Civil War. I have seen people on both sides of the current political divide deride their neighbors who disagree with them politically. Friends deeply hurt friends and question their character based on who they voted for. Families uninvite relatives from holiday gatherings. Protesters on both sides of the aisle literally beat one another up, when the war of words fails to satisfy.

And liberty and justice? Ah, there lies the rub. There lies the difference. I believe that how people define justice, lies at the heart of what divides us. Is justice protecting the unborn? Protecting American citizens from outsiders who would do us harm? Is justice protecting American jobs for American workers so they have a chance? Is justice keeping jobs in America, rather than letting them slowly but methodically leave our country?

Or is justice protecting a woman’s right to choose, particularly in cases of rape or incest? Is justice welcoming the stranger, the refugee, as Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus were welcomed? Is justice providing a safe haven from the ravages of war for those in life-threatening circumstances? Is justice standing up against misogyny and racism, and standing for the disabled?

What exactly does it mean to be just? How we answer this question determines where we find ourselves in the great American divide of 2017. And perhaps that can help us live with that divide, help us understand that those with whom we disagree are not Godless, evil people who don’t care, are not true believers as are we.

“One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.” Let us pray that we can all live into a better understanding of what this seminal phrase means to us, and what it means to our neighbors. All of our neighbors.

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What’s In There?

Rogue One, the latest in the Star Wars series, was released just in time for holiday viewing. Like all Star Wars movies, this one did not disappoint – complete with holograms, space battles, laser fights, and this time Computer Generated Images that looked for all the world like actual people.

The next day, Michael and I dusted off our old DVD of Star Wars IV, the first Star Wars film released and the sequel to Rogue One. Confusing, right? I know.

One scene in the original movie captured my heart, one I had missed when it was released in 1977. Young Luke Skywalker has just found his mentor, the Jedi, who sends him out alone into an ominous-looking cave as part of his training.


cave
“What’s in there?” Luke asks fearfully. “Only what you bring with you,” the Jedi wisely replies.

Only what you bring with you.

Throughout our lives we bring ourselves and emotions, our feelings and fears, our hopes and dreams with us – wherever we go. What we bring greatly influences how we perceive events that surround us and the interactions we have with others.

What do we bring with us when we walk into our version of Luke’s cave? Do we bring feelings of hopelessness, anger, bitterness, betrayal? A sense of gratitude, love, forgiveness, joy? What we bring with us into any encounter, has more to do with how we view it than anything another person can say or do.

And this is good news! While we can never control the words or actions of others, we can control the emotions that we allow to dominate our thinking, our encounters, our relationships. We alone have the power to write our own history, and that power extends not only to how we respond to a given event, but how we feel about the various encounters we have throughout our lives.

We all have those ominous, dark places we prefer not to be. “What’s in there?” we ask fearfully.

“Only what you bring with you,” the Jedi wisely replies.


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Countdown to Christmas

This week, Christians around the world find themselves in the final countdown to Christmas. The last candle on the Advent wreath is lit and we’re nearing the end of our pop-up Advent calendars.

If we haven’t finished decorating, gift buying, and Christmas baking, we’re in the middle of it – panicked with last minute to-do lists. If we haven’t readied our home for guests, we’re in the midst of that as well. In short, this can be one of the most hectic weeks of Advent, when we need most of all to slow down and reflect on what it means to await the coming of the Christ child into our world and into our lives.

Last weekend I attended a Christmas concert at Washington National Cathedral. I had recently returned from my third trip to Cameroon, West Africa, this time for the Opening Ceremony of Good Shepherd Academy, a residential secondary school for 350 coed students. As a result, I couldn’t help but hear the voices of my Cameroonian sisters and brothers in the carols, moving me from the magnificent Cathedral setting to the grim reality of life in a developing nation.

And I couldn’t help but wonder, what does it mean that once again we await the birth of Jesus filled with the expectation and hope of a new tomorrow? What does it mean that once again we, like they, long for new beginnings and new life?

Psalm 80 tells us that people have been fed with the bread of tears and given bowls of tears to drink. How true that is, especially of our sisters and brothers who live in developing nations or nations at war – Cameroon, Syria and so many more. Sisters and brothers who long for a bed of their own, a safe place to spend the night, a safe walk to school, or even a school to attend. How easy it is for us to take the very things for granted that would mean new life, new beginnings to our neighbors.

And yet in the midst of it all new beginnings do spring forth, you just have to look for them – whether through the foundation I chair, Good Shepherd SLF which just opened the  Cameroonian secondary school; or through Safe Haven in Pike County, PA; Rotary Club International, UNICEF, Covenant House, and more.

How do these miracles occur? Speaking for myself, the Cameroonian school was born for one reason only – over 2,000 years ago an angel’s words became reality.  “‘Look the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel’, which means ‘God is with us.’”

God was, God is, and God ever more shall be with us. The miracle, the birth of the One we await is nothing less than the miracle of God who comes to earth as a tiny, vulnerable infant to show us how to be in relation to one another. To show us what it means to be sisters and brothers with those whom we may never see, but who are intimately part of us nonetheless. We  must care, we must act, we must reach out our hands in love, for that is the only way forward for our world, and it is the only way forward for us.

Where do you find yourself in this final countdown to Christmas? Are you where I often am, so caught up in the 24-hour news cycle, the relentless advertisements, the unrealistic expectations of the season that you can’t see your way past Christmas morning? If so, I invite you to take even a few minutes this week to do your own reflecting.

What is this season all about? What does it mean that once again we await the birth of Jesus, filled with the expectation and hope of a new tomorrow? How are you meant to follow the One whose birth we await, right now, in this time, in this place?

question-mark

 

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Listen With the Ear of the Heart

broken-flagThe presidential election of 2016 is over and our nation is at war with itself. Family members are not speaking to each other, long-time friends are at odds with one another, and cries of ‘unfriend me if you don’t like my political views’ reign on Facebook.

“And why?” I ask. “Why”?

I voted for Hillary Clinton. I have family and dear friends in the South who voted for Donald Trump – people I have known and loved for years and for whom I have the greatest respect. They are not racist, sexist, or homophobic as popular wisdom would have us believe. Neither are my Northeastern friends who voted for Trump.

I often wonder how many people who are so against those who voted for the opposing candidate, on both sides of the aisle, have been willing to sit down and spend thirty minutes or more listening to their perspective, really listening.

In the 6th century, St. Benedict of Nursia founded what later became the Benedictine Order which survives to this day. Known as the father of monasticism, he wrote the Rule of St. Benedict for all who would follow in his footsteps. One of his primary tenets was, “Listen with the ear of the heart.”

Regardless of which candidate we voted for, there is nothing more important right now than listening with the ear of the heart to those with whom we disagree. If the person we are in conversation with turns out to be an extremist, then we have an opportunity to ask them to listen to us so we can share our perspective. We owe it to ourselves and our country to do so. And if a person’s language subsequently turns abusive to a group of people or to us as individuals, we owe it to ourselves to end the conversation and if necessary, leave.

With the exception of such extreme circumstances, what hope is there for the world if we stop talking to those with whom we disagree? What hope is there if we label large groups of Americans based on the extreme actions of some? What hope is there if we surround ourselves with only like-minded people who think and act like we do? Not much.

It is that very self-imposed isolation that resulted in many people on both coasts living in a bubble, a safe world of like-minded cohorts divorced from the country we thought we knew. As painful as it is for many, God has given us a unique opportunity to live in the America that actually exists and to witness to our views in non-confrontational ways.

As a Christian woman who voted for Hillary Clinton, in this post-election season I am very much reminded of Christians in the early church. They had a message to share that those in power did not want to hear. So they developed ways of reaching out, tried and true methods that worked. And it’s very simple.

They learned to “meet people where they are.” Not where they wanted them to be. Not where they thought they should be, but where they actually are. To do so, requires that we must first and foremost “listen with the ear of the heart.” And that’s not easy! It’s a tall order!  Being genuinely open to listening to another’s point of view that is directly at odds with our own takes patience, understanding and yes, faith.

I have the utmost faith in our country to follow the light, the way of justice for all people. But to move the needle forward from where we are, each one of us needs to do our part to listen, listen, listen with the ear of the heart …. then to share in a non-confrontational manner whenever and wherever we have the chance to do so.

In the Christian church, we call that evangelism. In America today, I call it critical to our survival as a nation.

In God we trust. God will see us through. But there is a role for me in this new order, and there is a role for you whomever you voted for. Let’s get to work, shall we?

 

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Suffering from ESD???

Are you suffering from ESD? No…I’m not talking about Erectile Syndrome Dysfunction. That would leave out half the population. This is something much more serious for which there is no magic little pill.

I’m speaking of Election Stress Disorder. That’s right. This presidential election is about to do in over half the US population. Do you feel panicked at the thought of either the Democratic or Republican candidate winning the election on November 8th? Do you have trouble breathing, sweaty palms, apocalyptic visions at the mere thought of it? Then you’re not alone. In fact, you’re right in sync with 55% of your fellow Americans.

This election season is like none other in the history of our country, but I will not recount how and add to your stress level. We all know how. We are inundated with it in our 24-hour news cycle day in and day out.

So what can we do? Well, let me begin with this. Until the election, I suggest we all go into survival mode. There are times in our lives when we need to seek out edifying conversations with those whose opinions and perspectives differ from ours. This is not one of those times. No one is going to change their mind on how to vote based on anything you can possibly tell them. So don’t even try. Bid your friends of a different political persuasion a good day, give them a hug, and wish them well.

Second, social media is not your friend right now, unless you have already unfriended each and every person who does not agree with you on the candidate of your choice. Stay off Facebook and Twitter until this is over. Read War and Peace. Read a beach book. Read anything that’s a distraction. And don’t tempt yourself by signing in online and deciding not to engage. Just take a vacation from it. Your stress level will go down. Trust me.

Third, and I hate to write this. I really do. But sometimes a vacation from reading news online or in print, or listening to it on the airwaves is just what the doctor ordered. An old friend used to ask my why I watched or read the news every morning when I woke up. “It won’t start your day off on a positive note!” she said. Boy, was she right! The first thing we read, hear, or engage in can set the tone for our entire day. So look for what’s positive, uplifting, life-giving!

And keep in mind. This election season, like every season before and after it will not last forever. We’re on the last lap and it’s almost over. You can do it. And if you encounter a fellow sojourner along the way, regardless of their political persuasion, give them a hand, invite them for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine to take a break. It just might make your day. And theirs.

We’re all in this together, you know?

esd1

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Ralph and the Amazing Technicolor Pajamas

“My life was spiraling out of control,” my friend shared. “Nothing was working or getting any better, so one afternoon I slipped into a large Manhattan church to sit quietly and pray for healing . . . to someone, anyone or any being who might be listening. I didn’t know what I believed anymore. I just knew I needed to be there. Very gradually I began to feel that often-elusive ‘peace that passes all understanding’ when suddenly an elderly woman stood up several pews in front of me and shouted, ‘Come on, Ralph!’

“Irritated by her intrusion on my silence, I quickly looked up, but nobody was there. Of course, in New York you see a little bit of everything, so I wasn’t too surprised. Perhaps she was talking to a dearly departed loved one. Who knew? But for certain, the space in front of her was completely empty.

“After a minute or so, I heard a chain rattling and a thump and right down the center aisle here comes Ralph – a gray bulldog wearing baggy gray, pink, and yellow striped homemade pajamas. And he had the most compassionate dark brown eyes of any dog I have ever seen. They were striking.

“Well, I just shook my head and laughed to myself,” she continued. “There I was wondering if there even was a God, taking my own problems very seriously and down the aisle comes Ralph. His compassionate eyes spoke volumes to me – a compassionate and loving bulldog? Wearing baggy colorful striped pajamas?”

“That’s right my friend, striped pajamas!” I said, laughing with her.

You see, we worship a God of surprises. A God who can show up in the strangest of disguises to bring us a message of love and healing. A God who communicates that yes, I am in ‘the other’, the one most unlike you, most foreign to you. A God with a sense of humor and playfulness who will do whatever it takes to get our attention.

Ralph’s eyes stared straight through my friend with a look of compassion that is rare in this world, a look that still holds meaning for her many years later. The message to my friend was clear that day. There is something ‘unexplainable’ out there, a force for good, a force for healing that can suddenly come into our life in the most unlikely of ways. Her face was filled with gratitude and a grin from ear-to-ear as she shared her unlikely story.

While most of us will never see Ralph and his amazing technicolor pajamas, we are likely to be touched by the divine in unexpected ways. But first, like my friend, we have to be still. We have to be quiet. We have to put ourselves in the place of most potential.

Then we must be open and ready to receive. It’s far easier for many of us to give than to receive. There can be a natural inclination to explain it away, push it away, convince ourselves that we’re imagining things.

But oh, it is so worth it, so give it a try. Who knows what is just around the corner for you? Are you ready?

god-of-surprises

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Every Single Day

“The world is often a difficult place, full of fear and anger and suffering. But it is important to see that love and joy also fill our world. I share this belief with one of my closest and most mischievous friends, His Holiness The Dalai Lama.

I am asking you to help us show that the world is not beyond hope. Anger, fear, and despair. No! These will not have the last word.”

So begins a video message from Desmond Tutu, Anglican Archbishop of South Africa, (Ret.). What balm it is to the soul to hear his words in our world today! When article after article, post after post is filled with gloom and doom, dire predictions, hate and fear, we can almost forget that this is only partial truth.

humanitarian-aid-child-pixEvery day thousands of acts of kindness occur between loved ones, friends and strangers alike. Every day a doctor saves a life, EMT personnel perform life-saving measures, police and firefighters risk their lives to respond to emergency calls. Every day a teacher goes the extra mile to help a child who is falling behind and aid workers go into high risk situations in war-torn nations to reach out to the homeless, to refugees, to a distressed parent or hurt child.  Every day the naked are clothed, the hungry are fed, the sick are visited, the wounded are healed, and someone receives another chance at life.

Every day an electrician repairs a power grid, and a plumber keeps the water flowing. Every day someone works the extra hour with no pay because that is what’s needed, and a young person receives mentoring from a wiser, more experienced loving soul. Every day clergy take the time to listen, to care, and to reach out in the name of God to those in desperate need of a healing word. Every day people donate to charities with myriad goals to help someone they will never meet. Every day cross cultural relationships among people of different cultures and traditions are changing our world one child, one person at a time.

Every day a child is born as parents, grandparents, and loved ones shed tears of indescribable joy. Every day someone says, “I love you”, and means it with all their heart and soul. Every day someone is comforted, hugged, and told they are special beyond measure.

Every single day without exception.

Love and joy. It’s all around. Can you feel it?

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